Tag: stream of consciousness

just write it out

there’s nothing particular that is on my mind, but a little stream of consciousness is good for the soul

i’ve starting lifting weights and today i did hex cage deadlifts – i think that’s the term- i know it’s dead lifts but i’m using a trainer for the first time ever and she’s tracking everything for me. i’d love to keep her on my team but i could only afford 8 sessions and so soon i’ll be finding a new, traditional gym. anyway, this morning at 6:30 I found myself deadlift 35kilos or about 77lbs – plus whatever the cage weighs – you don’t get credit for the weight of the apparatus that holds your weight, but I digress. the point i’m making is I did 6 reps at 30k and then 4 sets of 8 reps at 35 kilos which calculates to a total of 1300 kilos or 2860 lbs, thereabouts. when it adds up it’s kinda mind blowing.

presently my trainer writes out all the numbers. soon i’ll need to do that and i’m not looking forward to it but also it will be interesting to watch the numbers and how the correspond to my changing body. same goes for tracking food.

it all feels a little obsessive, but successful change doesn’t happen by chance. to make change last, for consistency to become transformative you have to stay on top of things and systematically create the consistency in your life. Or at least that what i’ve read from a lot of people who seem to be making change last.

get on it

I just had the auto-renew kick in for this page so I suppose I should write here more often. Lawd knows I am writing everything and keeping a journal and all those things, but all those things don’t end up here.

Shyness, fear of vulnerability, imposter syndrome, fear of success, fear of failure… fear that know one will come to my party.

Maybe all of that … but imma work on trying to post more … for future me if nothing else.

books of dreams

I spent only a week, barely looking at screens, my glasses used for evening, reading, and writing in my journal – sometimes not even then for now my hand and glasses simply keep lines straighter – who needs lines

but today had to come, with its return to a manufactured bug in the program of life identified as work, and my eyes quiver and shake against the bug’s light that pours from the screens where we sink our days in exchange for pay … my eyes take in this sanitized correction copy of the world and try to shake free from its digitized imbalance

“Where? Where is the open road,” ask my eyes, “… where is harsh sunlight, and sand to settle upon?”

“it’s out there… replies my soul … we will be immersed in it again … but for now we will witness the world from the books of our dreams”

 

 

ed from original v 5-21-2022